continual nonsense

The “official” scrabble dictionary is bullshit. The official English language would be heart broken. Happy new year!

Merry Christmas people.

merry christmas and happy holidays everyone.

This yo la tengo song is really breaking my heart. Christmas time is the time for sappiness!!

Spending the day in Charleston with Ellen and her cousin. Is 521 records still around? I think that is what it’s called.

What happens when your constant musings, your thoughts, serve no benefit to anyone, actually, they exhaust those who are patient enough to listen to the redundant concerns. Those concerns, which while being the cause of your deterioration, also serve as your comfort. Your own little box to poke holes in, slowly letting the water fill up. I’m reminded of a person who slowly immerses themselves into cold water on a windy day. The discomfort of the water slowly becomes more tolerable, until the moment when the parts of your body which are exposed to the wind are more frigid than the part of your body that is submerged in the very water which was once too cold. Your initial discomfort becomes your blanket. It’s a nagging compound situation. There is so much uplifting poetry about being able to express yourself freely, although, rarely does one see those revealing expressions finding an ear that is not dismissive, judgmental, belittling, or condescending. Why am I always told to be myself, when upon acting of my own self will, I am reminded to adjust to the surroundings? There is so much that goes unsaid when creating that beautiful poetry about chasing after your dreams or passions.  There are movies, there is poetry, there is music and there is literature, it is all the romancing of existence. I think it was Oscar Wilde who equated romance with deception.

From elementary school I can remember being injected with a delicate and quixotic idea. The idea of limitless possibility, the stubborn and ever lasting american dream. The boot strap ballad. We should be more careful with our lovely “take over the world” nurturing. I’m going to stand firm against the wall of criticism which accurately points out the irony of someone like me railing against the personal dreamscape imperialism. I prefer to  acknowledge the rarity of that which I am a living example, because there are whole cities of blue collar boys and girls who, while they can still perhaps dream while sleeping, they no longer dream while awake, they have no time.  They merely recollect on the train ride home. I’m not here to be pitiful or “negative”, or whatever other word you choose to employ when emphasizing my can kicking perspective. It’s merely giving due recognition to the other side of life which completes the beauty of our existence. I will not forge into the philosophy of opposites, that is too easy. I honestly don’t know why I chose to focus on this side of the coin, perhaps the beauty and true tenacity and love of the human spirit only come to full realization when up against the wall. Also, in general, I believe that we, or perhaps I, have heard the word “yes” in so many forms, from general to placating, to…mmm. Courteously misleading.